Raining Green Tea

I woke up two hours later than my usually morning wake up call at 8 am....why no one bothered to open my eyes and strip me of my covers at 8 this morning? I couldn't tell you, they are just cruel. I woke up to the sounds of my aunt and my mother running about the house trying to get ready. I yawned, coughed a little, drank the last of my water and smiled. The rain was crashing past my window like it was running late to kiss the ground. I got up with my eye mask tangled in my hair and heated up some water before putting in my contacts...mmm Green Tea. I have been drinking it for a while now because apparently it is suppose to help you lose weight. If anyone knows the reason why it does the magic it does, please tell me. I should have been angry that I woke up late and now I can't go running, but the rain washes my frown away and the smell of green tea puts a smile on my blank face. So much tedious work to do today, and I somehow can't wait to do it.

: )...Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, we have showers of Green Tea, and Skies of Hazelnut Cheesecake

When It Hits You

Your walk is funny
Your step is sloppy
Your mood is goofy
Your hair is nappy
Your fingers are numb
Your feet are freezing
Your eyes are hazy
Your stomach's queazy
Your blanket is warm
Your nose is cold
Your face is ugly
Your skin grows old
Your body sways
Your lungs slow down
Your breath is slower
Your mouth is a frown
You break into a smile
As you stare down at peace
You start to dive in for
All you really wanted was sleep.

Wrap Me Up Tight And Kiss Me Goodnight Honey

You go on with your life everyday and have routines or things that you have to do your way. I make my ramen noodles with Tapatio and bring them just to a boil and them pour it over cold veggies. That is MY way of making that soup and I refuse to do it any other way. I also have my favorite spot on the couch and I watch certain shows at certain times with certain meals when I watch them. I also hold my pen a specific way and I warm back up my tea when it is a little less than half full. There are items that I hold on to but I don't notice I do until they are gone. Silly things, like, for instance, a blanket. In 3rd grade, my mom used to make me breakfast as I watched Sailor Moon and cuddled up to a blue thick blanket. It was crocheted and it had holes so that you didn't get too hot, but it was thick so you never got too cold. At night when I would get too cold, it was the perfect touch of warmth to a freezing baby like me : ). I never realized how much sentimental value was attached to that cute blue blanket of mine until it was thrown out. I started crying. Why? So silly Vee, you are truly ridiculous. But it wasn't the blanket as much as everytime I pulled it up to my shoulders and slowly went to sleep, it reminded me of my childhood and it was a sense of comfort when I cuddled with it. My aunt threw it out. Thanks. So sweet of you to think of me. It made me think of the other material items that mean something to me. I guess my stuffed animals. Just a bunch of fabric and cotton. What is it in those things that makes it mean something to you and nothing to anybody else? Memories make a person as much as people say the past should stay in the past. It is okay to dwell on what used to be if it meant something to you. Why do we always have to move on? Why can't I cry over something that meant a lot to me without people telling me to get over it. Of course I will get over it, but not this second. It is not the item as much as what you think of when you have it. If you have to think of the past just to break a smile, then do it, only you can tell yourself to get over it. I just want my blanket back. If not my blanket then cover me with something that makes me think of Sailor Moon and waffles. Wrap me up tight and kiss my childhood goodnight. Buenas Noches Honey.

Blue like the stipe on my white sock.

Chapter Two: The Fox and The Creek

After the voices had long vanished amongst the tall trees, she felt it safe enough to advance. Twenty minutes or so had passed before she heard the sound of water. She broke out into a run towards the sound until she came up to a small clear creek. The creek shone in the light like melting ice in the first sign of spring. Her mouth thanked her as the water trickled down her throat. Drinking faster than she could think she froze when she thought she heard a voice. Figuring it was all in her head, she continued to drink.
"Excuse me," a voice so soft and subtle it could have come from a mouse.
"Who said that?" She was determined to scare it away.
She got up and looked around her, curious to know where that sound had came from. The sound of rusttled leaves grabbed her attention and two orange paws creeped out into sight. Big ocean blue eyes peered up at her and with knowing that the voice couldn't have come from anywhere else, she still felt like she needed to make sure.
"Was that you who said excuse me?"
"Yes, why yes it was. I see that you are busy and I hope that I am not bothering you in any way but I am lost. I need to deliver a message to the Fary Kingdom and quite frankly I have absolutely no idea where it could be. Would you be able to point me in the right direction Miss?" The fox crept just a little bit forward.
The girl sat down and sighed for she had no idea where she was, let alone where the Fary Kingdom was. The fox jumped over the creek and sat down next to her, without needing to say anything he had a feeling she didn't know where it was either. She looked over at him and asked him his name.
"My name is Jeremy Foxington. I come from the Kingdom of the West and I am the son of James, the greatest and most respected messenger of the West Kingdom. I am a messenger as well, but I am afraid that I am not nearly as good. In fact, I don't think I can do it all." The fox beaten with reality, he wasn't interested in a response of encouragement and returned with the same question. "What is your name, and where do you come from?"
"I believe that my name is Emma. One of the last things I rememeber." Emma turned to her new friend and smiled.
"Emma huh? If you don't remember anything, how do you know where you are going? The fox was a puzzled look felt like he needed an answer to this one.
"I don't in fact, I don't know where I belong or where I need to go. I woke up in the forest and to tell you the truth I am scared and all alone. Say Mr. Foxington, do you mind if I come with you? As soon as you get there I can leave you alone to let you deliver your message but you see, I don't know where else to go and you seem like a pleasant fox to be friends with." Emma questioned with hope in her voice.
"Why of course you can! Now, I am lost too but I feel like together we will be able to find the Kingdom. The Queen Fary Rebecca is a sweet lady and I am sure she will be able to help you find your way. Well lets get a move on. First things first, we need to head North. North is...." The fox turned to the right then to left and then stood confused with his paw scratching his chin.
"Oh! I am almost positive it's this way. Earlier I saw two creatures head that way and I think I heard them say they were heading East. If they were, than North should be up that way." Emma finally felt like she could be some help.
"Well fantastic, lets not waste daylight!"
Emma and the fox walked North with hope in their eyes and a skip in their step. For waking up in the middle of something Emma couldn't remember, she felt like she finally had a direction. They were friends, and that was exactly what both of them needed, some company.

Blogging

Who has a blog anymore these days? What weirdos : )
It is my job as a blogger to release my feelings out in writing as well as provide information about everyday life you would be interested in as well as simply entertain you. If what I say doesn't strike an interest, I have to figure out something else to write about. *sigh* what else is there? Poems, dreams, life, coffee talk to my computer (we have a friendship no one can touch) so I guess there leaves politics, fashion and TV?

Pearls Before Swine

Bang Bang! You're dead

Rock Your Rocky Fall

Freedom fights with ease
Prison can't escape
Trees lose hope of blowing
Loyalty has it's days

Cemented candied bridge
Leads you across the way
Desert meets you at the end
Just to lead you astray

Why can't hope be conquered?
Waterfalls trickle up
You have no where else to go
I guess you're shit out of luck

Live your lively haven.

Focus

You need to focus on what is in front of you. Focus on what you want and be passionate about grabbing it. I sometimes fall off track because of the silly things that push me off the rollercoaster. And as you're losing one by one, and each one grabs hold of something different and can't even turn around to watch you fall, you're stuck wondering why you grabbed hold of them at all. You wish yourself away as you skip parts of town and meet up with old ones to make you feel better. Then as you watch them walk away and leave you behind because it wasn't their responsibiliy to love you in the first place, you suddenly don't know where to go. You crawl back home to what you had and when they left you waiting for the train they had already left on, you wish you could have done better. You run in circles trying to find those somebodies that will baby you until you feel better, laugh at your jokes, and love you forever, but they don't exsist. You need to focus. Focus on what you need to do. Otherwise you fall off track, and there is nobody there to catch you. Nobody is even going to watch you fall. Grow up. This is your life. Start living it. You need nobody else to love you but you. I need nothing more than to love and be loved, but I can't lie...so I won't try. I am alone as are you and we need to be able to conquer the world without anybody else.

Focus Baby...Nobody Surrounds Your Failures...Only Your Success.

Vee,

Breathe with Ease

The Devil's Assistant Who Drove a Black Dragon Porsche

I couldn't sleep much last night, and I ended up crawling downstairs and curling up on the minature cushion we call our couch. As I fall asleep, I wake up at a party. Everyone is there, my brother, my friends and people I don't know, in a place I have never been. I was laughing and I happened to grab this girl's hand and lead her to the bathroom. She couldn't have been more than 11. As I turned away to check what was behind me, I slowly looked back to see nothing around me except this girl attached to the end of my hand. As if she hadn't noticed that no one was there, she didn't flinch when she kept perssisting me to hurry to the bathroom. "Stop" I said. "Where did everyone go?". She never responded but didn't resist when I dragged her around the house looking for everyone else. I felt really scared and called my dad and told him that today would be the last day I could ever talk to him for someone was trying to kill me. I hung up the phone without listeining to the answer and I started to panic. I heard something come in from the back and as I looked up shocked, it was a mid-aged lady with beautiful long, dark hair, and bright scary eyes. She was gorgeous and all she could look at was me. "Kind of odd, two girls in the middle of nowhere stuck in a place like this with no parents, dangerous maybe?". She was a pyschic who convinced this little girl and I do a spell with her. Half way through the spell the room grew dark and my heart felt heavy. I had just sold my undead soul to the Devil. I couldn't do anything else, but yet I felt like I could escape. The spell wasn't entirely finished as I ran out the door as fast as I could down the street. I jumped into this old guys VW Bug and told him to hit it. After just driving a few feet, I pretended to pull out a gun and told him to drive as fast as he could back to my house. The lady never followed. After seeing my dad and having to explain that I overreacted I decided that the inciddent was all in my head. A week went by and my friend invited me to a party. When I walked inside, the walls melted into the old house, everyone dissappeared, and the lady stood there five feet in front of me asking why I had left. She wasn't nice anymore. She grabbed my hand and told me that I had to finish that spell or the Devil himself would take me, and pissing off the Devil I was surely not suppose to do. I had explained that I was gone because I had to purchase something for the spell and excused myself outside to get it. Outside I ran into a girl my age telling me that she knew how to get me out of this mess as long as I didn't finish any more of the spell. We ran to her black mustang (I was driving of course) and sped off. She had giving me a pumpkin seed to swallow and chantings to say. This time the Devil's assistant followed us in her dragon painted black Porsche. Zooming in and out of traffic we stop right in front of Psychic Eye. The second I step inside, everything around me turned completely upside down. The open and close sign upside down, the insense dropped to the floor, and everything painted with an eye shut as to not to look at me. The lady behind the counter turned to me and told me to leave and that I brought too much evil into her store. I pleaded for her help and that I wasn't a bad person and I had no idea what the assistant tricked me into. The lady agreed but if my soul was truly good, then I couldn't pull any funny stuff like lying or stealing from her store. I called my dad again and told him that I might be saved but then again the Devil was after me and I wasn't ever going to see my family again. He started laughing and told me to stop watching TV and when a real emergency was to happen, then call him. As the lady approached me and reached for my hand, the lady in her black dragon Porsche jumped out and grabbed me by the neck.

Next thing I knew, I was cold, my eyes were swollen and my aunt offered a cup of coffee.

Pleasant way to start your day I think.

The Adventures of Emma and Her Royal Name

Chapter One: She Wakes Up

It was a Sunday early morning, or maybe a Wednesday, she had no idea. She arose from what she thought was her bed, blankets, and pillows and in reaching for her glass of water she realized she wasn't there at all. She wiped her face, and attempted to stand, and all she could smell was the fresh scent of dirt, mud, and a cold sun. She immediately grew cold, and as she looked around all she could notice was that she wasn't home. Frogs raced back to their home from the vibrations of her waking and squirrels seemed irrated for they were rudely disturbed. The sun had a difficult time getting up and the moon seemed to overpower it and kept it down. The trees stood tall, protecting her in the little nest she fell so delicately in. "Where am I?", she whispered as the pounding of her head grew stronger and with staring down towards her feet, she noticed she was covered in dirt and leaves. She got up with difficulty and walked around where she had slept. Nothing seemed familiar and her heart started to beat faster. She didn't remember how she got there. She was scared and alone. The last thing she wanted to do was explore. But with hunger pains setting in and her mouth running dry, she felt like she had no other choice. She walked for what had seemed forever and then she had heard something she could never forget. A sound that had only seemed less than a mile off. What was that? she wondered and crept closer until she could make out a clear voice.
"Now, now, you don't think that could be possible. Why there is just no way! He couldn't have fun off this far in less than an hour, why that fat thing can't even walk straight, let alone run two miles into the dark forest." One proclaimed.
In response, the other one justified, "He was a strong one I tell you and he was mine. I have been searching the second he escaped, and if he isn't here, he was stolen".
"Stolen? Stolen? You don't honestly believe he could have been stolen, thats ridiculous, who wants anything to do with your good for nothing mongrat who can't even eat properly?" the other one protested.
"Fine, fine, now your just making fun, and I am not laughing. Lets go, we still have the whole east side to look for him." The first one grew sad in his voice.
"If we do not find him in the next 15 minutes, I give up and I am going home, I do not have time to waste on your silly adventures and I am getting hungry."
The conversation grew quiet as the two slipped farther and farther into the east side of the forest. She couldn't get a glimpse of who they were, but she knew they weren't human, no human had voices softer and more beautiful then these creatures.

Isolation

With pink trickling from the sun
You don't seem to care
Sweet scent of maple syrup
On your diet, it doesn't seem fair
Waiting for it to ring
You stare at your phone
Not even telemarketers call
Now you feel all alone
You re-wash the dishes
And you drink from another mug
Your eyes get heavy and weak
Waiting for life to give you a tug
Stand there patiently
Don't go away
I will never leave you alone
Everything will be okay.

Popcorn and Hotsauce

With a hint of lime, you got yourself a pre mid-night snack as you sit down to watch the million pixels of Sex and the City. Of course afterwards, your mouth is on fire but hey less than a 100 calories, and it is super tasty and filling, you kind of get over that fact. I am so happy that winter weather is approaching, but as cold as it can get, it will never snow. I am thinking of taking a trip somewhere for a couple days where it is going to snow. I miss ol' Whitey. I want to snowboard and sip clam chowder at the lodge at the bottom of the hill. Man the good old days. Now I suck at snowbaording, but hey, it is the only sport I can do without dying within 15 mins. I am not kidding. I think I am going to go on a run today, out in the wilderness of Studio City. Hopefully I don't get eaten.

LA testing 1-2-3,

Veronika

Foggy, Miserable and Gloomy

Just my cup of tea.

I woke up this morning with the cracking door bell ring of my phone. Third day from waking up with this alarm and I am still jumping. DING...EVERYONE DOWN!!! just kidding. : )

I woke up to no light, I felt like it was 4 in the morning in the middle of a cold desert. I opened my blinds and drank some water, but my cold feet needed to be tucked back into bed. I run around my upstairs hoping to wake up. Well, oh well, coffee time. I didn't want to resort to coff...I lied, I look for every excuse to drink the harsh stuff. I look up at the clouds with the sound of hot water slowly steeping into the filter and on into the pot. Awhhh, the smell of french roast on a cold day. I finished my agency letter and I have four to send out. Two of each version. Didn't think I could do it did you?

What time is it? Shower time, ahhh it is way to cold though. I am turning up the heat full blast. I hate the summer but I have to admit the showers were nice.

I have to run, I just got a text message.

Wired Science

I saw the craziest thing last night on wierd science. Well a couple of things. One was about a bank that holds human organs, tissues, etc. Obviously they are only used for science, but still.. creepy right? They were studying about alzhiemer disease and there were two people that were going to donate their brain to the study when they passed away. However the research also consists of studing the brain while it is still alive and functioning. This couple every year went through vigorous tests and studies, so the scientist could see the changes and hopefully figure out what is causing this disease. That wasn't what freaked me out. An hour after someone dies (when they donate their brain to science) the scientist takes cells from their brain and harvests them. That's right. How can you harvest something that isn't alive? Exactly, the cells even after an hour, in your brain are still alive and can be used for further study. GROSS!!! Does this mean I have a chance to live? Well no, but still the thought that something is still alive in your body after your dead freaks me out.

Celebrity Gossip

I was watching the View this morning with Whoppi and Barbara. One of their topics of discussion was Celebrity Gossip. What does it really matter if J.Lo is pregnant? I guess in reality it really doesn't but why do people still talk about it and why when they find out that the rumors were right, they feel a sense of joy? J.Lo doesn't care about your life, why should you? Whoppi's constant argument was exactly that, how would that change your life in any way? Then it was finally revealed. It doesn't matter except that it provides a distraction from your life, and it is a second of steering away with what is happening with you and forces you to focus on something else. Then it was said that people often try to find the wrong in celebrities so that way their life doesn't seem that bad. Is your life bad? Do you truly care if Britney Spears wears underwear? I don't...I just like her music and that is as far as her gossip goes for me.

Vanilla Soy Latte

I am still trying to write this letter. I am at day two and all I have so far is:
"I need a mother. Please sign me."
My latte is cold and my pen is almost out of ink. Poor me. If you could see the weather here in LA it is beautiful, matches my foggy mood perfectly.
Lattes' are overrated. Who am I kidding, nothing compares to black coffee. Well I have to walk over to Vons, I am out of popcorn.

Just Words

She stood in the rain
Waiting for the train
For a ride of courage
That would take her to hope
Where she meets reason
Who takes her through the pond
Over to Pride
Who can't even look her in the eye
Determination dries her tears
As confidence grabs her hand
They frolic through the forest of duty
And class meets her at the end
Where manner teaches her language
So she can meet the man of her dreams
Who swooped her off her feet
And introduced himself as success

....
In the end they are just words,
but could you imagine them any other way?

Be Creative

One of my favorite magazines this year is Martha Stewart Living. Can that girl come up with jaw dropping creations. Being the born Betty Crocker that I am, I was always interested in making things unique and having fun all at the same time. The way Martha thinks of how to make pies prettier and easier is brilliant. (Okay so maybe she has a team of five hundred, but nonetheless, they are still pretty awesome). Ever wanted to make a party based on all the decoritive and food ideas from her magazine. I DO! I DO!...where do I sign up?

I know July and October have long gone but there is one idea from both issues that totally caught my eye.

From the July Issue: Cherry Sherbet in Tuile Bowls...now um yea yummy please??? I haven't actually tried the recipe yet but I will let you know, in the mean time keep drooling.
You can get the recipe from my link list. It looks about medium level. I wouldn't plan this for a quick dessert.

From the October Issue: Bat and Moon Treat Bags. They are easy and a creative way to get the kids involved with Halloween magic. I love it!!!...You can learn how to do them..I know, I am too late but NEXT YEAR...from my link list.

Well anyway...thats about it. Well not true. I found million cool other things but I you'll see for yourself. I am off to watch the foodnetwork...keeps me sane.

What is a Tuile Bowl?
A tuile bowl is like a hard cookie then stiffens when cooled from the oven but while it is still hot is curved into a bowl shape. The ending result almost resembles a roof tile. Unless the cookie itself is flavored, the tuile bowl isn't meant to be eaten alone. Ice cream or mousse are usually the main ingredients held by tuile bowls.

Fuzzy Butterflies

Pleasant Dreams
A Goodnight Kiss
Satin Leaves
Steaming Earl Grey
Waves that Apologize
In the Middle of High Tide
Frogs that Sing
Honey Flavored Sky
Eyes like Mine
Sticky Fingers
Mango Sticky Rice
Slurpy Manners
Striped Sofa
On Chocolate Carpet
Suttle Smiles
Whispers of Cooked Sugar
Candied Glasses
Filled to the Top with Our Sasses
Cute as Pie
Stings like a Bee
Tickles Easily
And They're Both Like Me
<33

Agency Letter

I am trying to focus on what I want to write when I mail out my letter to the agencies I want to get into. For two weeks now I have had writers block and I think from fear I don't want to sound stupid so my mind just freezes up and I can't think. I turned on the television with my notebook, pen and an old cup of coffee my aunt forgot to take with her. What do they want to hear? I know you are not suppose to think that way but at the same time, the last thing you want to do is say anything that makes them feel uneasy.

I put the TV on mute...and scribbled across my pages until legible words formed.


Dear...person....whom it may concern...HEY YOU!!! SIGN ME!!!


"If you get me through the door, I will book the job"...

Good...come on Veronika Steinhoff I know you got this.

Just Let Go

Your lips burn with thirst
As your palms go numb
And your eyes run dry
Your stomach is confused
When you laugh then cry

Then you drop to your knees
Hoping they would go
I held my class up high
And my expectations low

And I wallowed in my self pity
drooling over my dignity
Sober enough to throw up
I stared down at the only thing that understood me

I got up to wash my hands
But my tears fell from the sink
And my blood drew thick
Too swollen to think

My body grew sick from hate
I became dense and ugly from anxiety
And as I gasped for fresh air
Saddness and anger melted into one feeling

As the devil carressed my hair to sleep
I grabbed his hand in hope for love

Their faces grew cold
As I grew weak
And my body shut down
As I cried myself back to sleep...

Starbucks

When I sit down on their wooden chairs and sip my steaming non-fat latte over looking all of the Starbuck-ians focused in their problems and tasks, it gives me time to think of what I want to be responsible for. I stare down at my beaten journal pretending to be so focused in thought that no one should dare approach me, I realize I have nothing really to write about. Jealous at the concentrated people surrounding me I decide to get up and take a breath of fresh air. I can't sit here with nothing to do, it's embarrassing. All of these people day in and day out with Starbucks as part of their daily routine like brushing your teeth or going to work, I have a longing to be a part of their group.

As I walk outside, giving up on the fact that I have nothing to write or think about, I pass by a "Song of the Day" card dirtied on the floor. Who is this girl and what could her song possibly be about. I have never heard of her but her hair seems in place on the picture so I pick it up. "Love Song". I wrote about love once, could our songs be related in some way? Maybe, or maybe I should just accept that I have no idea what she is thinking about. How many people does she think or know were touched by this song and have it on repeat? Or, how many didn't bother to even pick up the card, even if it meant listening to it for free? Hm... now for some odd reason without a cause for my inspiration. I start writing....

Tomorrow...Today

I just got back from a short night of sober dancing...and I got to thinking all the stuff I need to do tomorrow. I got a new phone, a pocket PC and with excitement to stuff it with appointments and contacts of ridiculous information and tasks and notes and...well you get the point, I have nothing to put in it. I keep turning it on just to play solitare. Tomorrow...well today later today I need to get back on track. I came to LA for a reason. To become the next TOP MODEL!! hahah no really I need to be somewhere linked to that category. I have my portfolio done, and I need to get my headshots made so I can start broadcasting myself out there across the world.

Recent Songs:
I recommend you listen to "Can't Sleep" by Above and Beyond. The lyrics are short in length, but the beat is really sweet. I think I have listened to that song like a million times in my car on my way to who knows where.

Recent Movies:
I saw "30 days of Night" and I can't say that I liked it too much. I won't give away the ending but it is a little too dramatic for my taste. Some parts were ridiculous but Josh Hartnett was hotter than hot...future husband, ladies watch out.

Recent Memories:
I am aquiring new friendships and building on old ones but my networking is slacking off a little bit. People you need to be good at meeting new people if you want to make it in this world!!

Recent Fashion:
I think I am gearing towards the high fashion look again. You know the heels higher than your legs themselves and shorts up to your chest with not quite a top and fake eyelashes...a must have this season : )

Recent Tea:
Earl Grey. Try it with soy milk and honey. MMMMmmmmm.

Recent Food:
Avocado rolls and on the occasion french fries dipped in ketchup and Tapatio sauce. Tasty

Thank about raps up the musts for right now...good night California

Veronika...lovey dovey
...rap yourself in a bed of soft fur and cold ice. Now stick it all the freezer and kiss the ashes goodbye and thank them for the endless fire

An Extra Little Something Before I Log Off

Run from anything that makes you happy.

Nothing is forever and thats what makes it fun.

Be who you are and I think that's beautiful.

Fake is an attitude not a way of life.

I believe ang can save the world.

I wish I could look at people in the eyes of a child.

My brothers' smiles make me cry.
...the only ones I know that don't judge me.

I wish I could be what my dogs see me as.

I like winter more than summer.

I refuse to be 19.

I like to stand in the middle of the rain and laugh until it hurts.

I love tea and soy milk.

Why can't white skin be in fashion..its annoying.

You can't choose who you fall in love with...and it's harder than you can imagine to deal with.

I live with smoke in my eyes everyday.

My blood is the consistancy of peanut butter.

Fake eyelashes make anyone prettier...I have concluded.

Its hard to be happy...but only you can do it...

<3 the skin your in...because I am still wishing for green eyes and I don't have them...so I suggest you start loving whatever gross thing you are

The Time to Act is Now

When reality sets in...
is when your heart stops beating
and your brain starts frying
and the truth becomes the Devil's best friend.

Sex and the City

Who ever said that there couldn't be another Carry Bradshaw?

I never did, so here it goes.

Monday Night, A Cold Night, and the weather holds a new meaning:

Friendship is a funny thing and I feel like I am in this constant chase to understand it. Nights I cry myself to sleep wondering why it had to be that difficult and for my over analytical mind, why couldn't I understand it? Sometimes however, I run as fast as tigers or become still with my coffee in hand laughing until I can't feel my toes. My best friends admires my smile from across the table as we gossip and laugh at all the elements around us. Who said what? She did not tell you that!! It's true we have all been there and then you walk away with plans for the next afternoon. What happens next? Does she go on home to betray you, spread rumors, or keep silent on the experience she had with you. The actions we take are based on what we think the reaction the person will have. No like this is a bad thing, and if anything its the responsible thing to do. However, do you stop to ever realize that in reality you have absolutely no idea what they are going to do? You can't! That would mean that you could read their minds. It's scary. To me, there aren't such things as real friends, just real life. For all of you out there with best friends, I apologize, you can throw this away if you please. I am not saying I live in paranoia and choice not to trust anyone. That's impossible. It is in our nature and instinct to trust some. If not, how can you truly live in peace. You can't so don't try. I am not a bad ass with "fuck the world" tatooed on my left arm. I love people but I also love me. I need to accept and trust who I am before I can go out and trust others. It is really hard for me to trust others as much as I would love to. I trust my big brother and thats about it. Friendship is a ship that get shakey and fall, but can also sail forever. But if you do not stop once in a while for supplies and food your crew will die and your ship with break down. As much fun as it is to take and take, or even give and give you have to make sure there is a balance. I still won't understand how to have a good friendship and I am still trying to understand what it is that I always do wrong to make it fly away. I stare at myself in front of the mirror with tears in my eyes hoping someone will walk up to be an explain how much I have fucked up..or that it just isn't my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. I am a beautiful friend...and those are hard to come by.. Is it so much to ask for one back?

Beauty is only skin deep...then thank God mine lies underneath<3

To Start Things off straight

I hate mayo
I hate capers
I hate pants that show your ass
I love blonde hair
I don't trust men with blue eyes
I love dark green eyes
I don't like drving
I want someone to take me on a second date
I don't care what I tell you...I only like my coffee black
I love reading, I will never show it
I always say how much I hate shit talkers but I am one
I will only eat mac n' cheese with ketchup
I hate the taste of porl
I don't think I need to be vegitarian just because I hate steak
I need to eat with a fork
I can't eat food that isn't pretty
I don't need a tan (who said skin cancer was cute?)
I always wondered why I never wanted big boobs
I love my collar bones
The color pink isn't pleasing to my eyes
I admire those with nice teeth
I never liked my own handwritting
I can't spell...if you haven't noticed
I am bad with money
I don't want to be lazy
I am no longer afraid of the dark
Please be patient, I take time
I over analyze everything
Please call me more than is neccessary
Tell me she's only a friend
I like cats more, oh and snakes
I want you to like that I don't wear a bra
Please kiss me in the rain
I no longer care what you think

Hello

Hello, my name is Veronika and this is my blog. I have never had one of these before so if I am not writing in the classic way of a blogger I apologize. I am still in my teens...barely and I am aspiring to become a model or actress or anything fabulous. I am obsessed with makeup but I have a habit of never wearing it. My mom always told me that we owe it to our public to always look nice but ... and fantastic as that saying is, I can never seem to follow it. I write poems everyday and I think that is why I want to start a blog. I only read my silly quotes and sayings to my friends but maybe everyone could use a little of my advice once in a while. If you have a questions on any aspects of life and what to know my opinion, feel free to ask. It might sound far fetched but my answers will always come from the heart. If you nothing to respond but still like to read what I have to say...sit back relax and enjoy my chaos.



Love always,

Veronika